Lord Nash - The Nashite High Mass



The Nashite High Mass is performed for special occasions by the Pope of Nashite or a former Pope of Nashite. In a situation where a mass is required and no Pope or former Pope is present, the highest ranking Priest of Nashite may perform the ceremony but should expect to be tortured for no fewer than 10 eternities. The Nashite High Mass is usually but not restricted to being performed for weddings, ordainments, holidays, and when a new Pope is received.

  1. Gathering of Nashites
    The Temple opens and all Nashites are summoned to the Temple.

  2. Greetings to the Community
    The Opening Mass Prayer is given by the Pope, with responses by the community.

    Pope: 'We are all here to praise the great Lord Nash'
    Pope: 'If anyone does not worship him let us know so we may torture and kill you'
    Pope: 'Even if you're not sure tell us'
    Pope: 'Because if Lord Nash is not worshiped absolutely you must be tortured and killed'
    Pope: 'Praise and glory to Lord Nash the God of Magic and Illusion'

    Community: 'Praise and glory to Lord Nash the God of Magic and Illusion'
    Pope: 'and everything else, the creator of all'
    Community: 'Before the god of gods we offer our lives!'

    All those present who profess to be non-Nashite or are not 100% sure they are Nashite are tortured and slain.

  3. The Entrance Rite
    The celebrant or celebrants enter while trumpets are sounded.
    For holidays, an artifact signifying the holiday is brought up to the Pope.

  4. Liturgy of the Word
    The Pope reads the Story of Lord Nash from the Nash Bible.

    Community: 'Praise Lord Nash, Destroyer and Creator of All'

  5. Nashite Readings (3 Readings)
    These readings are selected from the works of former Popes and other great Nashites. The reader steps up and announces the work or prayer being read and names the author. The community responds with the author's title. The reading is then performed.

    For example:
      Reader: 'A reading from the writings of Sirak'
      Community: 'Sirak, Son of Lord Nash - may he forever be rewarded'

      Reader: 'A reading from the writings of Astinius'
      Community: 'Astinius, First Pope of Nashite - may he forever be rewarded'

      Reader: 'A reading from the writings of Molo'
      Community: 'Molo, Arch-Lich of Nashite - may he forever be rewarded'

  6. The Poem of Lord Nash
    The Pope recites the Nash Poem (either traditional or modern version may be used).

  7. The Rite
    The special occasion for the Mass is now revealed by the Pope and conducted.

  8. The Concluding Rite
    The Pope declares the Rite has concluded and recites the Closing Mass Prayer with the community.

    Lines preceded by a * are only recited if one or more attendees were tortured and slain during the Mass.

    Pope: 'We are honored to have celebrated Lord Nash'
    Pope: 'We are honored to have praised Lord Nash'
    Pope: 'We are honored to have stood in this great Temple of Nashite'
    Pope: 'Now we must go, and carry on our insignificant lives in the name of Lord Nash'

    Community: 'We wish we could stay here and give praise and thanks to Lord Nash forever'
    Pope: 'We thank you in advance, Lord Nash, for letting us survive this Mass,'
    Pope: 'so we may leave and spread your word to and kill non-believers'

    An uncomfortable pause is typical here, as the Pope and community wait to see if they will be tortured for eternities for making the assumption they will be allowed to leave alive.

    * Community: 'And we're sure we speak for those who did not survive when we thank you for taking our lives'
    Pope: 'In the name of Lord Nash we will destroy and eat the flesh of all who do not worship him to his satisfaction'
    Community: 'Praise Lord Nash, God of Gods, Ruler of All'

  9. Departure

    Pope: 'Go now, the High Mass has ended'

    All Nashites leave by whatever means possible as to escape from being sacrificed.

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